Saturday, March 29, 2008

Drawing a mental blank...

I'm drawing a blank on what to post on my blogs. Writer's block? Maybe. I have a sneak feeling that the absence of misery in my life might have something to do with it. :) Yea...I've been miserable for the past five years. It's just that I didn't know I was miserable and depressed and thought that's just how my life was meant to be.

Then I couldn't cope anymore and sought professional help. Suddenly, everything was clear: like I had a bird's eye view of the past few years. I wondered how I had managed to muddle through that time. And when the professional help started to work, I had this huge burst of creativity. I was brimming with ideas on what to write on my blog. I had ideas for short stories popping up at all kinds of odd hours. I even wrote a few. I loved that.

I managed to get a grip on the uncertainty at work, learned not to let DH's mood swings affect me, developed an even better relationship with my son, and well...things were great. Even better was the fact that my son's eye condition was under control.

And now...I'm blank as far as my writing is concerned. The doctor says I'm progressing very well. So I can't help but wonder if the two are connected. It also looks like I'm slipping with the control I'd gained over my eating habits. At first I thought it was the usual PMS-related carb cravings. But I don't think that's it. For the past week, I haven't been able to write anything. (Trust me, even this post has been a major effort.) And as for ideas for short stories...muahahaha...(that's my insane laughter, btw...insane and hopeless...*sob, sob, sob.*)

Is this the end of the road? Or am I really not meant to write again?


mnn said...

hi, first time posting a comment. just came your way through hotfessional. i've been reading several blogs, including hers off and on.
first off, how are you doing and how is your son? i have a six yr old boy too, so i can relate to that. boys are so much fun aren't they?
i hope everything works out for you. i am from pakistan, but been in states for two decades. never really lived in pakistan but in the middle east for yrs before coming here.
what is it that makes you settle in india, are you indian or a foreigner living in india? i am a journalist myself.
take care, really enjoyed the Richard Burton prose and that is quite true on many levels.

Maria said...

Hi! Thanks for commenting on my blog! Trust me, the ideas will come. I've often thought, too, what should I write about? Then I just think about what was on my mind that day, and all of a sudden I have a ton of things! Stop by again!

crabbymommy said...

I think we've all been there, so don't be too worried about it. What I do when this happens is that I abandon writing for a while and take to reading a lot..anything and everything..somehow that solves it for me!!

A Lost Writer said...

@mnn: thanks for dropping by. i'm an Indian living in India but grew up in the middle east, dubai, to be precise. i had a friend from pak who was a british citizen. she went back to multan but wasn't quite able to adjust. drop in again. :)

@maria: i'm taking your advice - it's what several of my friends have also told me. next post coming up soon.

@crabbymommmy: it's strange, but i have been reading a lot of late. spent a packet on some more books yesterday!! so maybe the reading is working because i'm ready to write again. no guarantees it will be readable, though! :-P