Thursday, April 10, 2008

Made up my mind...finally

It's been a crazy week. A lot has happened. I didn't want to post today because everything still seems mixed up. But I thought I'd just start with one thing. (Yes, yes, the vacation update and the handbag meme are pending. * hangs head in shame*)

Let's start at the office for today. I've made up my mind to leave this job. Not because I had a fight or because I'm seething about some usual politics. The fact is, I'm really not doing much - even though the pay is good. If I took an editing test tomorrow, I'd probably flunk it because the kind of editing I do is so narrow!! I've just about managed to resurrect my writing, and I think it's time my editing followed suit.

Besides, this place is a fiefdom, a durbar where the king & queen sitting out in the US of A use some very opaque methodology to judge performance. There are just no transparent performance metrics. Actually, there are, but they just prefer to ignore that. Most people are planning to leave after the yearly hikes come out at the end of May. I doubt I'll get anything. Long story, but it's true. So I may as well leave before that. I don't want any sour grapes stories floating around.

So even though the job market out there ain't so good, and headhunters take forever to get back (read 2 months after applying) I'll leave by the end of May. I just don't want to hang around here and watch all this s*&^ unfold all around me.

I may have to sit at home for a while - which doesn't sound too bad. And I could just go back to working from home, although that will require some rethinking with regard to the driver. (Don't balk and don't think I'm rich. Half of the people in Bangalore who can afford a driver for around Rs 6,000 a month - thats less than $150 - hire one because our roads are chaotic, to say the least. And since DH and I both get dropped, the economics works out fine.) But we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Of course I think about whether or not I'll get a job in the next 6 weeks. It's being ambitious, considering I'm not an IT/ITeS/BPO/KPO professional. And I suck at the whole interview routine. But you know what? Just having made that decision is a great weight off my head. And I love that feeling. :-)

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Clawing my way back

The past week was bad. I couldn't write, I was binging, I was constantly hurried, and my fridge was empty because I hadn't shopped for groceries the previous weekend. So we've been eating weird experiments. Tasty, but not very healthy and certainly not good for my peace of mind. And to top it all off, things were going from bad to worse at work.

One step at a time.

I couldn't write: Everybody told me: just write. Something. Anything. Even if it's bad. So that's what I'm doing. Forcing myself to write. (You've been warned! :-P)

I was binging: Sanity has prevailed today. I also realized that I'd first stopped binging because of my meds. Then those were scaled back. I haven't binged in a month and realized I was depending on the meds to hold me back. Now I have to work on this on my own. Managed today. Fingers crossed.

I was constantly hurried: Again, because there was a lot of work left undone. And we're leaving for the beach in less than two days. So I hope to relax there.

Things bad a work: Sorted this one out. The uncertainty has gone on for too long. So today, I spoke to a senior colleague and then decided I was going to quit next month. I'm giving myself six weeks to find another job. It won't be easy because the U.S. is looking at a recession and most of the firms that pay well are affected by the slowdown as well as the depreciating dollar. And I won't work late shifts so I'm narrowing down my options. Again, fingers crossed.

Ooooh...nearly forgot. I am now the proud owner of a car. My first one ever. This is what the company gave me in late 2006 and now I've bought it from them at a really good rate. It's not mortgaged either. It's all mine. (Well, I did borrow from my Dad, but I'll pay him back in less than two months. Just waiting for a couple of bank deposits to mature.) Will take a photo of it and post it in a couple of days.

Also coming soon: The what's-in-your-handbag meme! That'll be my first meme.